Robot Folding Socks

That sounds like a line from a haiku. But the video below looks like an act of war. Yes, war: it starts with socks, and it ends with folding human bodies into suitcases that the robot overlords (the Pod?) shoot into the sun.

It actually kinda sorta looks like Rosie the Robot Maid:

An Inconvenient Film

Wow. This video was banned because it "violated human rights". Never mind the drug war, videos that show the truth must be stopped (you don't need to speak Spanish to watch):

Mist Giant's Latest Release: Glass Walls

Come and check it out! My band's latest release: Glass Walls. You can hear it here or on bandcamp, where you can also pick up a copy. We're also on Velvet Blue Music (our label), iTunes, SoundCloud, and under your bed. Let me know what you think!

ADmented Reality: Google Glasses 2

As per my post yesterday, someone out there feels exactly the same way I do:

20 Years Ago Today Isaac Asimov Died

Isaac Asimov died 20 years ago today. I thought I'd throw up this interview he did on Fresh Air with Terri Gross (she sounds so young!) back in 1987.

You might know him as the most famous nerd of all time, but he was also a writer/editor of some 500 books. That's right: 500. And where did he find the time to write 500 books? Well, if you've ever read any of them I'm sure you noticed they're a bit... dry. Let's just say there are aspects of storytelling that he just didn't bother himself with. Such as character, dialog, pacing, style. Well, actually 'no style' was his style. Still, he had wonder and insight. Come on, you know it's true. He even admits as much in the interview below. Little known fact: Asimov died of AIDS.

 

So much of the industry has changed, and yet, so much of it is the same. The biggest difference is that people aren't as receptive to boiled down pulp. Nowadays all the editors are looking for character, depth, emotional center. This is a good thing. But they haven't raised the pay! They want more for the same price they've been paying for 20 years +. And with inflation that's really more for less. Anyhow, this is about Asimov, not the industry.

It's hard to really encapsulate how much we lost with his death from AIDS. Not just a genius humanist, but also an opportunity to look at the human cost of the AIDS epidemic and the embarrassment over the public reaction to Arthur Ashe and Anti-AIDS prejudice. Back then AIDS=Gay and Gay=Evil, when in reality AIDS=Human and Human=all us mortals.

Lots of people remember Old Asimov:

Kinda creepy, goes to lots of Cons.

But let's not forget Young Asimov:

Kinda hunky. I bet he had some moves.

Project Glass Gives Me The Willies

It's coming. It's near. The Singularity.

Actually, it's probably been around for some time. Since the 60's. Maybe sooner, maybe since the Industrial Revolution (at what point on a exponential curve can one demarcate the beginning of the curve?).

It's a point of no return, really: by the time you realize you're there you've been so for some time and can no longer get out (think waterfalls and event horizons). So, we've actually been in the Singularity for a while (it would have been very difficult for me to explain to 14 year old me in 1990 how Facebook and Twitter would dominate popular interactions). For me, there's no greater emblem of the rate of technological change than interactive augmented reality. We have it on our camera phones and now we're about to have it in our field of view: Project Glass.

It's Vingean Heads-Up-Display (Fire Upon the Deep, Deepness in the Sky), it's Strossian Glasses (Accelerando), it's every first-person-shooter (Doom, Halo), it's RoboCop's targeting system (at 5:25, though the whole video is frikkin' awesome). This technology will start a bridge between the virtual and the Real. Imagine a book with blank pages. Slip on these glasses and the pages fill with text as the video feed is edited en route to your eye. Play first-person-shooters in the Real. You'll be able to handle faux-objects that exist only in cyberspace (imagine the tamagotchi they'll come up with). You'll be able to tele-presence. 3D viewers and photography will be obsolete as 3-dimensional looking objects will be able to appear in your field of view (maybe not obsolete, maybe finally rendered realistic and manageable, no need for projectors other than those in the Glasses). You'll be able to book mark locations, and leave faux-graffiti notes on Real objects for your friends who are tuned into your 'channel'. The Web will exist in the Real. You'll be able to walk into a webpage, thumb through the blog, fold up text and put it in your pocket. This is great, this is the future, this is knowledge at my fingertips. 

So, then why when I watch the video above do I feel abject revulsion?

Perhaps because of how it's presented: a better way to consume. A better way to advertise. "Where's the music section?" Seriously? That's what you're going to do with your Glasses? Ask directions to where you can buy more crap you don't need? Actually, yes, that is what you're going to do with your Glasses. Makes me feel like, "Oh, it'll be that much easier for them to advertise to me. Wonderful. All I need is Visual Spam." Reminds of a recent Stross Diary entry: 

a) All advertising tends towards the state of spam (which is merely free-as-in-dirt-cheap-and-unregulated advertising),

b) Funding content via ad sales holds our public arts hostage to a boom/bust bubble economy. Furthermore, there is an incentive for web publishers to prioritize paid ads over editorial content, and to censor editorial content that threatens advertizing revenue,

c) The idea that "most people only want to consume" is profoundly offensive and serves the interests of abusive "producers" who tend towards rent-seeking,

So, the future will be the Gap scene in Minority Report? More data gathering, more marketing? Will Google sell off what I've been looking at? Pump ads tailored from what I've been viewing in the Real? Will they sell it all to the NSA (and don't give me no paranoia/conspiracy shit until you read this)?

Another aspect of the Singualrity is something that Vinge wrote about in Deepness in the Sky: Ubiquitous Policing. We think, because of Twitter revolutions and Facebook activism (and advertising that fosters these images. Wait, what am I saying, those revolutions are the greatest ads those companies could have hoped for) that the internet exists as this system of unfettered expression, democracy, and information. And it can be. But what if the GPS in your baby's pacifier is also being monitored by a police parolee surveillance program, or is gathering data for a custody and divorce case you don't even know is coming your way? Or the urinal you're pissing in can also test for THC and can cross reference who's pissing when by querying your WiFi-enabled desk chair when you got up, and pinging your phone and Glasses for position? (If you haven't yet, take a look at episodes 2 and 3 of the BBC mini-series Black Mirror). I personally don't think it will all be this doom and gloom tech-paranoia dystopia (well, anymore than it already is). The point is, it easily could be. David Wall, in his book Cybercrime: the Transformation of Crime in the Information Age, puts it this way: "Unless checked, the 'ubiquitous policing' that follow this 'hard-wiring of society' could contribute to the destruction of the democratic liberal values". Okay, maybe that's putting it on a bit thick. But, still, watch the above, tell me it's not creepy. Tell me I'm wrong. Please. 

Robot Cutting Hair

It starts with a haircut and ends with Skynet.

I can't help but think of that scene from The Ice Pirates where those dudes get emasculated... literally (at 1:30).

How to Get to Mercury

In the absence of Bussard ramjets, Einstein-Rosen Bridges, or a Captain who says "engage" and it is made so, this is how you actually travel between planets:

Crazy. And beautiful. No one ever talks about the circuitous route one would have to take to go starwards because of the acceleration you pick up from the star's gravitation. Gorgeous.

Original article here.

News: Soda and Fingers

Normally, I would blog about this, but the craziness of this story (severed kid fingers randomly found by a woman digging through the trash who thought they were ginger root, in a ziploc bag, to retain freshness) combined with a typo and some crazy quotes, I couldn't resist:

Yes, all those people without consciousness, all those (p) Zombies, have been hampering the investigation, drooling and growling over the phone.

Then add in the statement: "I was drinking soda, and I knew for a fact those were fingers when I seen the fingernails." I haven't seen the PLOSOne article yet, but apparently soda helps in severed body part identification, thus why she thought the fingers were ginger root UNTIL she sipped on a soda.

Finally, Sgt. Buffett of the Honolulu Police Department waxes some how one "normally" finds body parts. It's true, all the body parts I've ever found have still been attached to the rest of a body.

Truth: this really isn't funny, or a joke, but sometimes one has to point out the absurd in bizarre/grisly situations in order to deal with them. 

"Many questions remain."

Original article here.

Tajazzle: We All Deserve to Die

"...vampire discovery... and acceptance."

Book Report: Max Ehrlich's The Reincarnation of Peter Proud

Reincarnation of Peter Proud by Max Simon Ehrlich

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

Some books are great because they capture a story, others a place, and still others a time. Max Ehrlich's Reincarnation of Peter Proud is a great snapshot of the early 70's, with the "trippy" 60's still reverberating and morphing into burgeoning New Age movement. At least, that's how it feels. I wasn't there, so I really don't know. The closest I can get is the TV, books, and movies of that time, and it feels like Reincarnation of Peter Proud fits right into that, despite it wanting to be a supernatural thriller.

New Project: Al Lover & The Haters reviewed by Impose Magazine

Nice little write up in Impose Magazine about a new project I'm doing with my Mist Giant bandmate Mike G. and DJ Al Lover. It's a free release so download away! Al's got tons of great trippy music on his site for free. Favorite line of the review: "The Haters bring a keg spiked with acid. We approve." I approve of their approval. Check it:

Coronal Mass Ejections = Gorgeous Aurora Borealis

Faskusfjordur, Iceland

That huge solar storm I posted about earlier this week, where you could see the Sun's magnetosphere ripple from Million mph EIT waves? This is how they lit up Faskusfjordur in East Iceland. Wow.

Click on this pic from NASA, it's pretty awesome:

The Battle of the Sun and Earth

Sounds: Some Ophelia, Human Tree EP, Mist Giant

We wrote "Some Ophelia" towards the latter half of our first crop of songs, when we'd started to zero in on sounds and structures we enjoyed exploring. Besides the basic drum line that Dan brought in, we wrote this song as a band.

Originally we called this song "Modular A-C" as that's pretty much what it is: a transition between A and C (those are the only two notes I play on the bass). The Modular part came from the fact that you could play any part at any point. With C being a minor 3rd of A, as long as you don't play full chords, you can play pretty much any melody you like (okay, not quite "anything"; there are still harmonic limitations, but the point is that the song follows no real structure, so as long as you played in the A minor/C major key, you're pretty golden). We do this a lot with our songs. Our upcoming Glass Walls (Velvet Blue Music) release has another song with a similar modular structure, called "Catch & Release", which I'll eventually link to here. It's a fun way to play, not limited to strictures of structure [sounds like a shitty post-rock band: "Strictures of Structure"]). Of course, over time this doesn't hold up: you start making changes based upon when others make changes; that part leads into this part. Eventually hills and valley form and the song starts to take on a shape that is That Song. Nonetheless, it's an exciting organic way of playing and writing. 

Watching the Sun Ripple

Or something to that effect. First, you have GOT to see this:

The video was taken at 12 second intervals up in the Extreme ultraviolet Imaging Telescope range (EIT range = 171 Angstrom wavelength) and shows two different solar flare events. Notice the Sun's magnetosphere and surface RIPPLE? It frikkin' shook the Sun! The Sun we are talking about: you can fit 1.3 million Earths inside it; it's 850,000 miles in diameter (compared to the Earth's 7,819 mile diameter). And yet you can see the Sun ripple from these two solar flares. Ripple! These "EIT" waves travel at about 1 million miles per hour and traverse the entire star. It looks like a James Cameron production.

The flares send out coronal mass ejections (CMEs), which are expected to hit earth around 1:25 AM EST on Thursday. So, gird your loins.

More from NASA.

News: Today's News from Tomorrow's Victims

Full disclosure: I've been helping out writing and researching for this. Even still, pretty crazy:

Tornado on the Sun

That's right, a tornado... of super-heated plasma! For 30 hours on February 7 & 8, 2012, cool plasma (cooler than the surface of the Sun) spun around in competing magnetic forces in a tornado the size of the Earth at somewhere near 300,000 kph. I have no response to that.

Sounds: Empty Archipeg, Human Tree EP, Mist Giant

I  don't actually recall how "Empty Archipeg" began. It's one of our "Hits", the first batch of our songs. I know at least some of the structure came from a sample Dan brought in, at which point I was playing the cello. Back then, Fall of 2009, this song was a lot brighter, easier, lighter. We started it together and then midway through Mike G. got a chance to work for a month on Greenpeace's Esperanza (Mike schooled us when we called it a boat: it's a ship which is defined as that which can fit a boat. Confusion over). By the time he got back all the songs we had been working on had undergone pretty drastic changes: I was on keys now and the lyrics and overall tone of the song got very dark. I remember Mike standing there listening to what we'd come up with and then pausing for a moment once we finished. Then he said: "These songs have gotten a bit dark". It can be a tough challenge to inject oneself back into a song after it's changed a lot, but he did it and as you can hear, he nailed it. My favorite part is the interplay between the lead organ line and the guitar. That's the song's hook to me.

(We tend to try and hold back on hooks and payoff/super-dominant lines, trying to maximize their effect by  NOT playing them over much. The organ/guitar interplay is only in the middle and at the end, pulling out completely for the "rebuild". Mike is good at pointing out when/where we should do this [I'm always horrible and want to play the best parts over and over again], which we do on the soon to be released "D-Loop" on Glass Walls, the unreleased "The Late Keanu Reeves", and others.)

Fool's Republic, by Gordon W. Dale: Pretty Effing Adequate

Readable. That's the first thing I'll say about Gordon W. Dale's Fool's Republic: readable. I'm not sure it's much more than that, but there you have it. 

Fool's Republic is the story of Simon Wyley (get it!?), a misunderstood genius who can't (or won't) fit into modern social standards who's on a quest of revenge against the government (read: stand in for modern life) for the death of his daughter, an active duty soldier who willingly put her life in harm's way. That's right, he wants revenge on the system that his daughter chose to join. Yes, it's a bit of a stretch, but Mr. Dale manages to sell me on this motivation, though that might have been because we're left in the dark about it for most of the book. 

Book Report: The Peace War, by Vernor Vinge

The Peace War by Vernor Vinge
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Where to begin. I love Vernor Vinge. Fire Upon The Deep, Deepness In The Sky, I'm not going to say they are masterpieces, but they deliver such great ideas that whatever problems the stories had mechanically (2 dimensional characters, wonky plots, horrible dialogue), just got buried under the scope and wonder. Not so much with The Peace War.

Apocalypse Now and Laters: Hollywood's the Lorax

As we step into what may be the Sixth Extinction, a mass-extinction event where 50% of the world's species are annihilated (this has only happened 5 times in the last 450 million years, the last being the dinosaurs),  Hollywood is releasing Dr. Seuss' "The Lorax" on Friday to kick off their awareness campaign... to sell us some Thneeds. Yes, with over 70 product tie-ins, including a Mazda SUV, the Lorax is going to be busy trying to get us to buy a bunch of shit we probably don't need. Fear for the Truffula trees.

The Lorax coverage begins at 1:10.

The Colbert Report
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Out this week: Robots the Recent AI!

Out this week is the anthology Robots: The Recent AI which includes my story "Houses", originally published over at Lightspeed Magazine. Get a taste here.  This is an excellent collection of stories that features some crazy talented writers. Somehow I weaseled my way in and I'm pretty pumped. Like I said above, you can check out my story for free to get a taste of the book, and if you like grab yourself a copy (electronic/hardcopy) here (Amazon) or here (Barnes and Nobles) or here (Prime Books). Enjoy!

“Tideline” by Elizabeth Bear
“A Jar of Goodwill” by Tobias S. Buckell
“Balancing Accounts” by James Cambias
“The Rising Waters” by Benjamin Crowell
“The Shipmaker” by Aliette De Bodard
“I, Robot” by Cory Doctorow
“Kiss Me Twice” by Mary Robinette Kowal
“Algorithms for Love” by Ken Liu
“Alternate Girl’s Expatriate Life” by Rochita Loenen-Ruiz
“The Djinn's Wife” by Ian McDonald
“Houses” by Mark Pantoja
“Artifice and Intelligence” by Tim Pratt
“Stalker” by Robert Reed
“Droplet” by Benjamin Rosenbaum
“Eros, Philia, Agape” by Rachel Swirsky
“Under the Eaves” by Lavie Tidhar (original)
“Silently and Very Fast” by Catherynne M.Valente
“The Nearest Thing” by Genevieve Valentine

Sounds: In B Flat

You've got to check this out. It's called "In Bb 2.0". It's a sort of internet/youtube take on Terry Rily's "In C", but with you control the pace with a whole number of musical parts. None of this is mine. It's all the brainchild of Darren Solomon (website / twitter) who used youtube and collaborators who post music in Bb. It's gorgeous and you can spend most of your life just recombining the musical lines (there's 1.55 * 10^25 permutations). Below is just a four piece taster that you can arrange in 24 different combinations. 

Sights: Famous Explosions From History Recreated Via Cauliflower

Photographer Brock (no pun) Davis uses cauliflower to recreate three famous explosions.

Nagasaki:

Cauliflower Nagasaki, 1945

The Hindenburg:

Cauliflower Hindenburg, 1927

And my favorite, and one that I actually remember, the Challenger explosion:

Cauliflower Challenger, 1986

 

Mr. Brock is a master of vegetable explosion photography.

I stole this from Laughing Squid.

Sounds: Mountain Man: Sewee, Sewee

I'm not the biggest fan of just straight vocal harmonies, but the Vermont trio of Mountain Man has it down. Short and Sweet. Gorgeous:

Sounds: What With, Human Tree EP, Mist Giant

It has been a year since we, Mist Giant, released the Human Tree EP, and I thought I'd do a little retrospective essay writing on the songs, the EP, the band, and our process, starting with each song and then going from there. These entries are written solely from my point of view and only represent my take on how the band works and how the songs were written. I'm sure each of us has our point of view and I hope that Dan and Mike G. will add to the discussion in the comments below.

Lots of people start bands and songs with a particular idea in mind. "I want to be in a hardcore band"; "I want to start a industrial band"; "I've always wanted to be in a shoe-gazer project". I'm no different. I bring to the table a lot of post-rock sensibilities and years being in instrumental projects. But, the coolest thing about Mist Giant, for me, is that our sound is made up of the compromises between what each of us brings to the table. There's metal, pop, post-rock, modern, minimalist, experimental, electronic, even hip-hop in there, but the project never suffers from a lack of focus, because our focus has always been crafting each song on its own. And our sound comes from these musical intersections. For me, and this project, music and creativity becomes and act of discovery. We never, as a group, sat down and said: "We want Mist Giant to be ____". We've had plenty of discussions of what we want to do, instrumentation, textures, philosophies of music and craft, but the sounds that come out of this process have always been the unpredictable resultant patterns of compromise and appreciation of the group dynamic. What the hell does that mean? Specifically, it means that often times one of us will bring in a song idea and it will morph and morph and morph into something so different and so far from where it started as to be a total bastardization of the original motif. In a sense, Mist Giant has, more or less, rejected the idea of ego-centric songwriting. Everything we write, we write as a group. Sometimes this can be frustrating: the original kernel of idea that you wanted, that magnum opus you've been working on, that song you've cherished and the idea of how it could turn out, get completely bashed against the wall. One probably shouldn't bring to practice a song/baby they are not willing to compromise with, because that song will get trashed or discarded. That being said, once we've learned to let go of our ideas, relax our egos, and let the band dynamic take over, we are, as a group, pretty pleased with results that tend to be greater than the sum of their parts, and the songs take on lives of their own.

Such was the case with "what with"

More Flying Robots: Galaxians have arrived!

I guess this is a thing now. It's a line, at least. One more and we'll have a trend.

The part where they're doing a figure 8: kinda mind blowing. Could be used for brick-swarming (construction), DARPA Combat Zones That See project (situational awareness/mass surveillance), in-atmosphere solar-powered communications network (via point-to-point lasers), or for real D version of Galaxian. Let's keep our fingers crossed it's us who keep the High Score.

Fuckin' Tea

Q: Are you man enough for all this fucking tea?
A: Nope.

Put Your Ham On Him: Manpon!

I'm hopping that's what he said: "Put your ham on him." Can't really tell, but from now on, I'm referring my ass as my "ham".

"Little run comes out, hit's that manpon..." No. Please. Please don't have that little run come out and hit that manpon. Please don't let that little run exist. 

Questions: So, then does he call the female version a "womanpon"? And at what point does a folded up napkin stuffed up your ass turn from a folded up napkin stuff up your ass into a manpon? This is some Kierkegaard shit.

Cultus Sabbati: The Perfect Lovecraft Soundtrack

Ah, curl up next to your blue cold-flame fire and listen Shoggoth and Elder Gods whisper in your ear, and either read your dog eared copy of In the Mountains of Madness or peruse the Cultus Sabbati liner notes that include a detailed ritual on sacrificing a Salamander. Check it:

Brick Swarming: Holy Crap!

Robo-flies build a frikkin' brick tower! Or "Brick Swarming" for those in the know.

For some of you this means the end is nigh. We are just moments away from being enslaved by robot overlords. For others it's a sign of the approaching Singularity God (Rapture of the Nerds). For still others it's a bunch of flying robots building a tower. Either way, pretty effin' cool:

Read more at NPR here.

Book Report: Doomsday Book by Connie Willis

Doomsday Book by Connie Willis
My rating: 2.25 of 5 stars

Eh. It was fine. Well, it was boring. There was alot of English people prattling on, saying the same shit over and over and over again. (No wonder we rebelled!) And the only thing more boring than Christmas mass is reading about Christmas mass. Obviously, my tolerance of christian iconography and symbolism is running low. That being said, Willis did a great job of painting a picture of the 1600's. Wish she had concentrated more on that.

Actually, I hated this book.

Clarion West 2011 Publications

Here's a little line up of fiction put out by my Clarion West 2011 classmates, written up by the lovely belly dancing Jenni Moody over at her blog Dancing the Story Fantastic. Check out some of these tasty treats!

Shower Every Day: Sound Advice on Getting a Boyfriend

"You have to tell them that you like them. Cause how are they gunna know that you like them... if you don't tell them you like them." This is some logic shit, right here. Sound logic. I'm 35 and this kid is breaking it down for me!

Highschoolers: beware.

"Houses" in Robots: The Recent AI. Edited by Rich Horton and Sean Wallace

I am pumped. Sean Wallace and Rich Horton over at Prime books picked up "Houses" (Lightspeed Issue 18, November 2011) for their collection: Robots: The Recent AI. The line-up is pretty sweet! Check it:

“Tideline” by Elizabeth Bear, Asimov's
“A Jar of Goodwill” by Tobias S. Buckell, Clarkesworld Magazine
“Balancing Accounts” by James Cambias, F&SF
“The Rising Waters” by Benjamin Crowell, Strange Horizons
“The Shipmaker” by Aliette De Bodard, Interzone
“I, Robot” by Cory Doctorow, The Infinite Matrix
“Kiss Me Twice” by Mary Robinette Kowal, Asimov's
“Algorithms for Love” by Ken Liu, Strange Horizons
“Alternate Girl’s Expatriate Life” by Rochita Loenen-Ruiz, Interzone
“The Djinn's Wife” by Ian McDonald, Asimov's
“Houses” by Mark Pantoja, Lightspeed Magazine
“Artifice and Intelligence” by Tim Pratt, Strange Horizons
“Stalker” by Robert Reed, Asimov's
“Droplet” by Benjamin Rosenbaum, F&SF
“Eros, Philia, Agape” by Rachel Swirsky, Tor.com
“Under the Eaves” by Lavie Tidhar, original
“Silently and Very Fast” by Catherynne M.Valente, Clarkesworld
“The Nearest Thing” by Genevieve Valentine, Lightspeed Magazine

Pretty honored to be in this collection. Preorder a copy here.

Robocops: How It Should Have Been Done

Surprised he didn't call it Robotcops. 5 out of 5. She's more Kurtwood Smith than Kurtwood Smith:

Saw this on therumpus.net

Zoochosis: Stray

My old friend Patrick Scott made this beautiful short. Mellifluous. Take a gander:

So nice. Some of you might have heard of Patrick, or his company, Zoochosis. I know some of you have (Thanks Sparky!). Well, expect to hear more about him this next year from me as we're throwing around a few ideas for some projects. Stay Tuned!

"Houses" in Lightspeed Magazine Issue 18

"Houses" is out now in Lightspeed Magazine Issue 18. My first professional sale and it's a Clarion West story! Yum! The whole November 2011 Issue 18 is fantastic. It's pretty awesome to appear next to China Mieville and John Crowley. Pick up a copy here. 

I came to the Clarion West Writer's Workshop with a number of ideas, half-stories, little gems of inspiration, some of which I distilled into stories I submitted to the Workshop, but "Houses" was not one of them. One morning I woke up on my horrible little plastic mattress bunk bed (we dormed in this enormous sorority house and we all all got our own rooms, but we had to sleep on these bunk beds with these mattresses that seemed to be designed to easily hose off vomit from sorority sisters who'd done too many keg stands) and the first line just popped in my head (which I later deleted, as per Terry Bisson’s rules [he's right, by the way]): “After the humans left, the houses got bored.” I had all these ideas after that, about the society these houses and machines we humans left behind created, our toys playing house, so to speak, eventually waking up and realizing that they didn't have to our lead, our psychology, our biology. But, I didn't know how to handle such a thing, it could easily turn into a sprawling work that couldn't be contained in a short story.

Collar Popping: A brief history of Asshole Iconography from the late 1800s to Present

In the apocrypha of haberdashery, popping one’s collar, known technically as "an upturned collar," was first invented by Walter Makepeace Scantleberry in 1889, during a cold windy night in London while stagecoaching. Legend has it that Scantleberry mentioned to his passengers that the wind was whipping up and that he was going "to pop up my collar" so as to protect himself from the cold.

Since that time, the practice of collar popping has enjoyed a long association with the obnoxiously over-privileged and self-entitled asshole. It became so popular during the turn of the 20th century in Europe and America that manufacturers began to make detachable collars that would button in the front and in the back of the shirt, elevating the popped collar from practical application to useless fashion icon of wealth. In his 1902 book Kipps, writer H.G. Wells, a futurist and a practical man, railed against the wearing of the popped collar, pointing out that it was another sign of the elite and that popular application, except for in the cold, was pointless. He further pointed out that it "made [the] neck quite sore and left a red mark under [the] ears." For his part, Wells swore off of them for good.

That's Nature! - The Riddle of the Sphinx: BJ's

Some point to opposable thumbs, some to bipedalism, and still others point to language as being a defining characteristic of human primates. But just like thumbs (Sulawesi Bear Cuscus), bipedalism (Birds!), and language (Ape Language: Koko, Nim Chimpsky) one of the last bastions of human exceptionalism is under attack: blowjobs. And from an unexpected critter: Bats.

Up until now, fellatio, or "blowjobs" (known to the layperson as "BJs"), were thought to be limited to humans and some greater primates, specifically Bonobos (Pan paniscus). That is until these guys came along:

Book Report: Light by M. John Harrison

Light by M. John Harrison

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Here's what I've learned from the M. John Harrison school of writing:

1 - Make sure secondary characters never directly talk about anything important or otherwise, and be sure that they say plenty of enigmatic statements. This can be accomplished by using non-sequitor declarative statements and starting/stopping conversations abruptly.

2 - It is best to describe physical surroundings and characters well after the reader has made a picture in their own minds. For instance in Light: Shadow Boys are mentioned in the first 10 pages, but are not described until page 60, and Anna's apartment, which features prominently in the beginning, isn't fully described until page 150.

3 - Be sure to describe physical actions poorly or not at all, and instead use highly suggestive statements that say very little, like: "They looked at what they did to the boy," but DO NOT go on and describe any what they did to the boy.

4 - Main Characters should never make statements that would directly inform the reader of any motivations.

Man, that hurts.

Passed over for a MacArthur Genius Grant... again. [kicks rocks, pouts]

Well, at least you can hear one of the recipients below:

As reported by NPR news, "Fransisco Núñez founded the Young People's Chorus of New York City in 1988, the same year he graduated from New York University. The chorus now tours internationally, has commissioned more than 50 pieces by contemporary composers."

The piece below, "(Le) Poisson Rouge", starts out a bit slow and dark, but there's some great moments up front: breaking glass, droning cellos... yum!

True Fact: Funerals

They are sad.

True Fact: Fisting

I'll say it again: for an act to be officially recognized as "Fisting" a fist needs to be present and participating.

Clarion West 2011

There is no way to download 6 weeks of learning, studying, networking, socializing, writing, critiquing, arguing, pontificating, strategizing, thinking, and game playing in any other way than experiencing 6 weeks of game playing, thinking, strategizing, pontificating, arguing, critiquing, writing, socializing, networking, studying, and learning. If you are thinking you want to write, then I couldn't encourage you enough to try Clarion West. It was the hardest most intense exhaustive thing I've ever done, and I loved every minute of it. It was amazing to be around 17 other students, 6 professionals, 2 supporters/organizers/professionals (Les and Neile rocked my world!), and countless supporters all PASSIONATE and devoted to not just Science Fiction or Fantasy, but to writing, to the lifestyle, to the community. Thank you so much: Leslie Howle and Neile Graham, Paul Park, Nancy Kress (my hero!), Margo Lanagan (you taught me more than you know), L. Timmel Duchamp, Minster Faust, Charles Stross, Greg and Astrid Bear, Erik Bear, Nisi Shawl, Mary Robinette Kowal, Eileen Gunn, Ellen Datlow, Marci, Mark Teppo, Vonda McIntyre, Brenda Cooper, Nicola Griffith, Kelly Eskridge, and all my fellow writers this year:

Alisa Alering

Alex Bear

John Coyne

Corinne Duyvis

Erik David Even

Sarah Hirsch

Catherine Krahe

Jei D. Marcade

Jennifer Moody

Jack Nicholls

David Rees-Thomas

Maria Romasco-Moore

Jeremy Sim

Anne Toole

Nicholas Tramdack

Steve Wilson

Alberto Yáñez

Keep and eye on those names. You'll be seeing a lot of them soon.

All I know, is that I'm hungry. I want this life, I'm ready for the challenges, and I'm going for it.

New Short Fiction: Gray

A part of an ongoing mosaic of short fiction on aliens, conspiracies, intelligence, and intrigue I've been publishing a bi-weekly serial of stories over at Geek Girl on the Street. All of the stories will be reposted a few weeks later on this site (as this post is evidence of) and may eventually be compiled into a single story collection. Expect updates.

Originally published on April 29, 2011

Gray

by Mark Pantoja

“Nah, mister. It ain’t like that.”

“Really? Then what’re you doing out here?”

“I dunno,” he pulled his jacket tight. His eyes flashed, taking a glance of the tall dude. He shrugged. “My dad died when I was young. My mom, she’s got my sister and her baby. It was tough back home. It just made sense for me to leave. Easy on everyone.” A drag off the cigarette he bummed from dude. “I don’t really do curfews.”

“Obviously.”

The kid took a look around. The streets were filling with the bars closing in a few minutes. The dude kept trying to catch the kid’s eye, but he avoided, giving a shy smile. He knew to play coy, make himself visible to the guys who liked boys.

“I ain’t going to suck your dick.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said: ‘I’m not sucking your dick.”

The dude gave a chuckle. “I haven’t asked you to do anything.”

“Yet.”

Clarionauts!

Whoa! My classmate/workshopmate/fellow creator of wonder Jennifer Moody has launched her own Kickstarter project: Writing & Living at Clarion West 2011.

She's come up with a great project: writing a non-fiction 'zine of the 2011 Summer up in Seattle at Clarion West. Her 'zines look pretty spiffy, and I can't wait to see more of her work. Check out her video here:

Is that a squirrel or a chipmunk?

-Mark

New Serial (Mosaic) Fiction Line!

Hey Peoples,

So, the fantastic people over at Geek Girl on the Street were awesome enough to invite me to start up a line of serial fiction. Originally, we discussed developing a Dickensian (I've always wanted to use that word; check!) style sci-fi/horror serial fiction line. Easier said than done.

There are a lot of challenges to serial fiction, not the least of which is keeping it interesting. Instead I pitched to write a mosaic of stories ostensibly set in the same universe and around a central story line, but not limited by characters, setting, sequence, or theme. It's more like a shotgun effect of fiction. The other interesting challenge is that my bi-weekly line of fiction has to be ~1000 words or less for the internet attention span. Quite the challenge to create interesting characters, setting, and plot in 2-3 pages, but one I am eager to explore. It's all about brevity and implication.

At any rate, check it out, and let me know what you think. I'm pretty pumped.

Here's my first entry:

Gray

-m

I got in! Clarion West!

hey all. well, i got in. to Clarion West Writers Workshop, a six week intensive writers workshop for people trying to get into the Fantasy, Science, and Speculative Fiction industry, studying under Hugo and Nebula Award winning best selling authors of genre bending fiction.

i'm pretty pumped about this, and about my classmates, some of whose work i've perused: very impressive stuff.

so, in order to make this happen (it's not a cheap workshop) i'm trying to offset some of the travel and workshop costs by self-publishing the best work that comes out of this workshop. here:



this is essentially a win-win cause I get your support, and you get a book!

at any rate, even if you can't support, that's okay, you can check out, read, and comment on my work as it's published up on this site.

thanks all!

Human Tree

That's right, the latest from your favorite band Mist Giant is out! This is the digital release of our soon to come 12" vinyl EP. You can download the tracks for free or for monies! Pay what you want! Just see below, or go here if I messed it up, and either drop us some cash or an email to grab it up for free. It's also stream-able if you don't want to download. Just do me a favor, review, talk about it, like it, hate it, just throw us some feedback. Thanks! And look for our vinyl coming in April as well as our upcoming shows in California and SXSW in March. Woot!

Opinion (Biased)

I happen to like these fellows:



Admittedly, not the greatest interview I ever gave, I come off like a pretentious ass, (I sincerely hoped that I wouldn't), but I got caught in a question that I just could not answer. At least I hope it's good for a laugh. And for a musical revelation!

True Fact: Statistical Assholes

When composing yourself amongst others, if you come off, 51% of the time, as an asshole, even though you "sincerely hope [you] didn't," you are, nonetheless, statistically an asshole.

Lemons

So, Lemons.

I mean, that's the thing though, isn't it? When thinking about lemons. Come on! Right? You know what I mean. Round, orange*, tart, that sort of thing, but not at all, cause that's just it.

[Editor's Correction: Lemons are yellow in color.]